Finding A Pause
When was the last time you actually did nothing and just paused?
And I'm not talking about meditating or thinking about meditating. I've been trying to meditate consistently for 5-15 minutes a day and sometimes I.JUST.CAN'T. I just can't sit still or I am thinking about how I need to meditate to make me feel better when I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious, but I am not able to get into that headspace so it gets me even more anxious and overwhelmed that I can't focus on meditating. Serious spin cycle!
But I was thinking recently - when was the last time I did nothing, like absolute nothing? Where I didn't have a list of things to accomplish, didn't have someone I needed to meet up with at a certain time, watching TV, working, hustling, or an activity I wanted to do. It's hard to JUST DO NOTHING, and sometimes it might be your circumstances that forces you to do nothing. And I suggest when you find yourself in that situation just press pause and say aaaaaaah!
Last weekend I found myself in this situation where I had no place to be, no one to meet up with, no computer, no TV, no do list, no need to meditate. I was literally just being and relaxing. In my previous post I wrote about my unexpected adventure of attempting to summit Mt. Hood. We started at 3:30 AM and I tapped out at 7:00 AM unable to muster up anymore energy to continue the trek past 9,000 Feet. The rest of the crew stayed on the mountain and continued the push forward. I was just too tired and sore from the 3 day hut trip I went on to go any farther, and all I really wanted to do was relax.
After I snowboarded down at sunrise, I settled into one of the couches in front of the fire at Timberline Lodge over looking Mt. Hood. I laid there for 8 hours! It was glorious. What a spectacular feeling to have no where to be or nothing to do. My friend Sarah came and hung with me for about an hour and I grabbed some lunch but other than that I just stared at the mountain dozing in and out of sleep for most of the day. No expectations, nothing. And, I didn't care it was taking the crew longer than expected to summit. I was content. And it was a feeling I hadn't really felt in a long time. I've been so busy being busy, hustling, wedding planning, that I forgot what taking a day to relax really meant. Even when I am on vacation I am rushing around trying to see everything and do everything. But this moment right here - this moment I will always go back to when I need to remember what it feels like to find a pause and really relish in it.